Hey kid why are you staring at me like that you look like my dad I look like your dad and call me dad son uh dad that was too baa call me daddy dad daddy oh yeah I’m heading ...

mom why the heck did you name me pillow you see my son when you were born the nurse accidentally dropped a pillow on your head and that’s why you were named pillow so why on Earth did you guys ...

Dad don’t eating toilet paper really why I’m eating it so then the next time I poop I don’t have to White that is the smartest thing I’ve ever heard in my life no