00:20

time baby hold your fire sweet little puppy but it ain’t no noty

01:00

I’m afraid you got to give us your front- of the plane seats cuz that’s what celebrities do for veterans well clear out kids it’s just part of the Hollywood deal thank you thanks USS Nathan James yes sir boats ...

00:44

two weeks here what have you learned about the city about well I’ve tried a lot of these open mics and I ended up in a driveway what does that mean like a man like a man’s driveway at that ...

00:34

don’t choose the wrong slot here I’m not swapping with you you have last time this time no let’s go Preston you’re going down I will let you choose I will choose yellow if you would choose blue subscribe if ...

01:00

lawyer’s reaction carnival game worker made him [Music] lose he won fair he then did this he said to win again whenever you’re at a fair and you’re playing some sort of game with a carnival worker the rules are ...

00:50

should call our agent oh who’s our agent yo Jerry yeah there’s like a strange mystery and I think that we need to solve it and save December wi ask him if the there’s any updates on me getting on ...

01:00

everyone I’ve got a surprise I got us tickets to Italy that’s amazing mom Lois is Peter okay with this well ran I haven’t quite told him yet but what if he says no he can’t say no I already ...

00:41

oh what are you doing what are you doing bu what you going to do with it the whole thing yeah the whole thing what are you going to do with it eat it you eat it the whole thing ...

00:57

I’m so pleased to finally see you I’m the doctor and I will be your victim this evening are you my mommy you can’t hurt me until my time is up I think so are there magic words is there ...

00:32

Brent the craziest thing happened to me earlier today I was at the gas station and some guy came up to me and said hey if you shake your butt I’ll give you the trag Cheetos no way he said ...

01:00

wait what are you doing just a quick fetal ultrasound don’t get that thing off Me acoustic radiation impairs neurod development that’s not actually true uh note that the fetus measures normal size and weight for 5 months except I’m ...

00:27

कम से मा नो से ै ो से मामला वे म म ममी कम से माम [संगीत] अगेन ममी म मा मा मा मा मम्मी मम्मी मा मा मा मा आई विन

01:00

Mr Simpson looks like your punishment is to be boil alive for all eternity in a lake of blood all right just wait over there oh there’s a line hey do you mind if I go ahead of you yeah ...

00:59

who’s the astronaut roommate you got a new roommate well I mean I had to get somebody to pay your half of the rent while you were in the hospital how’s it going ice pick Best Day Ever greatest day ...

12:28

thank you everybody hello up there come on now please have a seat thanks everybody please have a seat you’re very kind thank you Chicago welcome in here out there all around Chicagoland Welcome to The Late Show I I’m ...