is it true you were on the same drug that drug that Michael Jackson yeah propl which his nickname is milk of Amnesia and it’s Michael Jackson was taking propl to sleep which is like doing chemotherapy because you’re tired ...

I don’t understand why they don’t just come and live with me maybe they don’t like you haha I’m not joking hey welcome to the Cooper residence Cooper mallister I’m surprised you put my name first hey brought you a ...

gandal was soing believable when he was Tony Soprano and he wasn’t like that he didn’t hang around with those guys he wasn’t that guy at all that’s the other thing he was more like a hippie you know he ...

whoa watch where you’re going you watch where you’re going no you watch where you’re going move move move you want to do this let’s do this we’ll see who moves go okay let’s do [Music] it what is that ...

something ain’t right coach look I know this might sound crazy they have our plays we’ll figure out a way to make it how how are we going to move the ball they know when we’re going to run they ...

I gave you a 20 no you gave me a 10 you owe me another five mom this guy’s a liar and he’s trying to steal my money Emory just pay the man what he says you owe him what ...

enough is enough as women we demand to be treated equal to men equal rights equal rights equal rights what was that what was that ladies the foreign countries just attacked the us we’re drafting all you women to the ...

they threw a bag with a $3500 guitar inside but they had no idea that the famous singer who owns it would get his revenge in the most legendary way because sure enough he found that his guitar was very ...

so that someday I can look out at that crowd and go I’m 60 and sexy you know

so there’s a kid at our house right now who’s about to ask my little sister to homecoming when she comes home but he’s got to get the older brother approval first I’m going to be like yo you think ...

wait wait wait wait wait wait wait stop what look at that you tell me what that looks like if the de is tracking her barrels there goes our precursor connection GPS on the bottom of the barrel when do ...

I mean there’s that guy let me guess you’ve been taking unregulated colloidal silver supplements for how long uh over a year that’s why you’re blue it’s called argeria it’s rare but it happens when did your skin start to ...

Welcome to The Daily Show my name is John Stewart we got a great one for you tonight uh Our Guest on the program this evening Governor Tim Walls Democratic nominee for vice [Music] pres but first it’s just two ...

this is not okay sorry you think you can just pull that [ __ ] fly halfway across the world and invade my favorite [ __ ] gelateria I’m sorry could you uh maybe keep your voice down no I ...

putting a gumball machine of vodka in my parents house when I saw this giant gumball machine I knew it was perfect for the house but I know my parents don’t care about gumballs so I filled it up with ...