I’m going to take the gag out now one wrong word and the dog gets it ah okay read item number one let’s go all pasty white Englishman to get big ears and web feet now wave your hand what ...

I got you I got you come out buddy no I got you bro you got us bro I got us what really got us bro what do you mean bro where are we going you really really got us ...

ask away who was your first kiss Jesus should I punch you right now I don’t want to be a stripper what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done in your life uh I I’ve sucked on one foot how tall ...

this is why you should never be too confident because when they were training the recruits to handle taser shots something unexpected happened sir put your dick away missed could you make a mistake like that

okay we’re missing one who are we missing oh Mike wasowski thanks Joe good luck finishing your crossw word puzzle sorry Michael I didn’t see you that’s okay when I was on the bus I found a nickel I wish ...

did you see that video where like what talking as of today there is not one member of the United States military who is in active duty in a combat zone in any war zone around the world the first ...

no more it ain’t no lie I want to see you out that door baby bye bye bye I want to be a for you just another player and you came for to you may hate me but it a’t ...

Good evening. – For ABC news. – I’m David Muir. And is it just me or is it kind of handsome in here? I had hoped the takeaway of the debate I moderated would be my striking good looks, but ...

[Music] this is wrong I how do I get a fair shot here this is how it’s done some of these girls have paid their dues I don’t give a I out skated him today we also judge on presentation ...

I didn’t know it was possible to offend a hot dog if I can order a human I’d eat him too

what’s in here all right chat which fragments are we buying yo chat is this the best yes or no is this good or no I don’t know I want the best one though is this the best one really ...

[Music] well I’m not dead but I do have a boner so that is something new about Stewie hey copper come get me oh no an armed as salant I definitely don’t want to die today I have come on ...

sir what happened this guy stopped me inside the bark as I bumped into him I said I was sorry then bam he did this what did he look like a white guy we’re in a red soccer jersey that’s ...

h e r e study I never could spell hella how water I was getting kicked out of [Music] school thank you thank you another 30 seconds in there we would have been blacker than you