a woman collapsed in freezing weather while walking to find help after crashing her car she was just 15 ft away from a house but no one knew she was there she was found 6 hours later completely Frozen her ...

they put the Twister on the hardest level and it led to a disaster [Applause]

this older brother went easy on his little sibling till he opened his mouth you suck bro that’s why you didn’t go pro but now he had to teach him a lesson

I kissed Michael on his ear yesterday that’s my favorite sentence because there is a word a single common everyday English word that can be placed anywhere in this sentence and the whole thing will still make sense you can ...

you’re the only one to [Music] make sex sex you’re my sex and you can give it to me [Applause] [Music]

what you doing man how you doing man good man what what’s in the refrigerator oh I’m just shopping oh you’re sh nothing yet you’re you’re shopping with it yes sir oh okay New York strip don’t mind if I ...

s around you find out same time as yesterday listen I’ll save you some gas I’m just going down to the station at store then I’ll be right back you don’t got to follow me like yesterday turn

holy you’re a dependent yeah it’s awesome Dean get over here so like are you a stay-at-home husband or do you have a job I basically do whatever the I want

do you know the difference between the truth and a lie yes tell me the difference a lie is a story that you make up and the truth is what happen if I were to hold up this object and ...

I want order not when there’s [ __ ] customers my B sorry sorry I tell the Haans to stop [ __ ] me too I’ll fly to [ __ ] haes sorry about that guys so you guys want ...

let’s go if there’s 10 billion people on Earth and Elon Musk has $200 billion can’t he just give each person 1 billion and here’s the twist he will still have $190 billion left over isn’t that concerning

stop you’re only supposed to take one dut yeah I have one double donut great idea I’m going to have one triple donut give me those I made one Mega donut