I woke up from like excruciating pain I woke up Posh and I was like I don’t I don’t think this is [Music] good but I just remember like one day I was pregnant and then the next day I wasn’t and I took the test and it wasn’t it was negative and I just remember like falling to the floor like I can’t believe this happened to [Music] me it was a time in my life where I was like in my lowest of lows Basha was literally my Saving Grace it was something we’ve wanted and pictured ourselves and the moment I took that pregnancy test and I saw I was pregnant I was like picturing what clothes I’m going to get what I’m going to do what stroller I’m going to buy you know so like everything kind of just went blank we were going through it together and I just remember every day we were just holding each other and just you know taking each other out of it I think grieving on your own is so so difficult so when I was looking for comfort I saw YouTube videos of different women talking about how they’re going through the same thing I’m going through I wanted to share my story because I want people to know they’re not alone there’s way more people going through it than people think a lot of them just don’t come out and say anything and you know what you don’t have to you don’t have to say anything but just know that you’re not alone it’s not your fault [Music] and I just remember at that time taking a pregnancy test every single day until I went to the doctor’s office I was like so scared me personally after that happened to me I was paranoid Nikita is literally just like the best thing that’s ever happened so sometimes we just sit on the couch and just look at her like babbling and running around and talking and this and that and we’re just like we create Creed a human that’s that’s crazy it’s truly insane after everything we’ve been through