Title: "French High-Speed Train Network Brought to a Halt as ‘Malicious Acts’ Cause Paralysis"
Date: 13th April, 2023
In a stunning display of crippling efficiency, a deliberate campaign of ‘malicious acts’ has been targeted at France’s revered high-speed train network, rendering its sleek locomotives motionless and tens of thousands of commuters in distress.
Early reports indicated that several railway employees at multiple stations throughout the country reported experiencing an array of sabotaged systems, equipment tampered with, and strategically placed barricades that impeded operational continuity. Railway officials scrambled to rectify the situation, only to uncover further malicious meddling that effectively neutered France’s extensive train network.
Among the afflicted lines include several crucial segments, including the famed Eurostar linking London to Paris and various corridors between the north, northeast, and the Rhone valley regions. French railway service, SNCF (Société Nationale des Chemins de Fer Français), estimates over 400 trains are in limbo, as repair personnel strive to counteract the vandalism that has essentially silenced the majority of its TGV (Train à Grande Vitesse) and high-speed connections.
"I was told I was about to take an evening departure, only to discover I wouldn’t even get my coat – nothing at all" complained distraught traveler Jean-Michel Lapierre, stuck outside Gare du Nord. His voice dripped frustration: "Not again, really?! Have some compassion. So much effort spent crafting that fine art, our railroad’s image ruined… Why so bitter and cold these misdirected ‘messages’ bring the network down this far?"
"We find these criminal actions an insult. These targeted malicious acts go far beyond ‘lötsfahrzeugt’: 150 people could get 25 seconds earlier… Why now?! All France shares 12 km/75 of Paris; more we lose ‘high way, now there ’cause; why; so so the TGV: -7 the of" an unidentified protest placard scrawls near Montpellier.
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