If only I didn’t let go of your hand
If only you weren’t so dithering
If only we didn’t run away from our problems
If only we didn’t hide what we didn’t want the other to see
If only we offered each other
One passionate kiss like the first time
If only we didn’t pretend
As if everything weren’t hurting us so much
If only the world weren’t so cruel to us 2 kids
Who didn’t let themselves be vulnerable ‘cause they were too used to being strong
Whose scars were not yet healed so they kept acting tough to the point they couldn’t even shed a tear
And if I were not, if I were not
If only I weren’t so obsessed with the thought that you’d disappear one day
If only you proved to me that I was the only one
If only I trusted you, and you trusted me, and we trusted each other
Would we still be together
Would we still be together
Smile every time we hear each other’s names
Would we still be madly, madly in love
Like that first day when we fell in love
That day which I had spent every night praying for it to happen
That day I promised myself no matter what might happen, my love would still be the same
Would we still be in love?
If only we didn’t let go of our hands
If only we didn’t run away
If only we didn’t react that way
Maybe…perhaps…
Maybe things happened the way they did so I could realize
it’s time I love myself first
It’s time to realize that I’ve been lying to my own heart
Because if you really wanted this to work out, you would have found a way
But you didn’t anyways
I hate the way I always make excuses for you everytime you are inconsiderate
I hate the way I pretend to be okay when I am not
I hate how cruel the public can get, regarding our love story
I hate that I think of you way too much
I hate having to keep my silence, pretending that I don’t care
But I also fucked up several times, please forgive me
I promised you things that now are just fantasies, please forgive me
I had to move on and heal myself first, please forgive me
I let someone new in to love me now, please forgive me
I have learnt to be responsible for my emotions now, please forgive me
And only now that I know how to appreciate the things that I have, please forgive me
I wish the same for you
So one day we might be together again
We might see each other again
Smile when we pass by each other
Though we won’t be madly, madly in love
Like that first day we fell for each other
Yet we can start over again
No more fear and no more doubt for both of us
How do you feel about that?